Friday, September 29, 2006
stuck in a moment you cant get out of.
and as she walked on by.
i think about it over and over again.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
you are the girl all the boys wanna dance with, i'm just the boy losing too many chances.
oh well where do i start?
i did decide not to address this but i guess i could never leave it lying. dont get me wrong its not like i'm trying to make it such a big deal but i guess i jus needed to say something.
sometimes i also wonder why i am so bothered?
how do you address a friendship that never had a black and white line drawn across? everything seemed to have been in gray every since the time we started gettin close. we've of course been through alot of changes the past few years, drifted apart, had our setbacks and met new people but i used to dare say that though it all we'll still be the best of friends.
however, somehow i feel that this whole year had been so messy that i wonder if i should really believe that that is true. maybe it all boils down to my lack of ability to to deal with the people around me changing and moving on, afterall everyone has to grow up one day dont they? but hearin about the erm people new or old people that came thru your life and the doubts of you never being truthful about certain issues might have just made me question who i should really believe. somehow i've got to be glad that i never allowed myself to be one of those boys you had at your finger tips.
somehow you goin off to uni did seem to make things better as i did hear less of everything. and i kinda did expect things to be in this current state where i do hear from you less and less, and erm oh well the new guy was of course of course not out of my predictions. it did seem like this was the kind of life you always wanted and i am genuinely happy that of course, you are happy. but as i said it was just that i din expect things to happen so fast and the way you put it to me was erm indeed a little disappointing.
hmmm i think i've ranted way too much tonight. somehow i just had to let everythin out, i know the things here may seem accusing but sometimes i cant help what i feel. seriously i am really happy that you've found what you want and glad you've finally got out of this complicated circle of people and with someone new.
the closer that i look is just the further that you get.
already, stubborn skin thickens, its an attempt to understand.
you got tired, of waiting.
the guilt subsides and the night begins.
but I know it's not what you deserve.
this comes as a gift from a good friend
that disapproves, but understands.
you represent and actively encourage all of my worst habits.
they all are proof that we're both capable of,
the most terrible things.
Sunday, September 10, 2006
she was beautiful but she didn't mean anythin to me.
i was wrong. really.
things you percieve will always be things you percieve and want yourself to believe. fragments of your own imagination that you try to make real.
its your own perfect scene.
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Thursday, September 07, 2006
what does it really take to do somethin right?
i've tried. really.
tell me what to do to.
i'm lost beyond hope and i dont know where to go.
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Monday, September 04, 2006
you're still so young and desperate for attention.
been spending the last few days trying desperately to study but as usual most probably only a tenth of what i read and did went it. prelims will be here in a week but i'm barely even near to being ready. man oh man. lets just hope the next few days will be productive and i'll pull thru. :/
oh well there really hasnt been much happening lately and thus the lack of activity on the site. lifes been so uneventful that its almost unbearable. i really need to find a way to find a drive to study and enjoy it as well. erm i think if its possible? lol.
anyway i walked pass a boutique showcase and saw this erm interesting picture. haha. so yup i'll leave the guys and puzzle over what it means and i shall go off to mug more.
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